... which is definitely a change in a way that you can't quite describe. Once you go from fantasizing, talking, etc... to her actively searching for a lover, there is no going back. Everything I've read that prepared me for this moment told me it would be intense, but you cannot quite prepare for it mentally.
The way she flirts with a waiter, the way you stand by with your hard on watching, burning and squeezing, the way she dresses a bit more provocatively. Everything amounts to a complete and utter angst.
You can barely survive this moment, and then you think that someday soon you might be waiting in the car, or at home for her...
She found someone already and it's hot just knowing that. But I know already that it gets hotter still.