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Open fly? Do you tell the man his fly's wide open or not?
01/04/2019
Should a lady tell a guy his fly is open if she doesn't know him?
I say No Way! I never inform an absent-minded male that his fly is open. Let him find out on his own. I still can't understand why so many males forget this simple task. You unzip, whip it out, do your business, shake it and put it away, then you ZIP UP! Duh! It's pretty funny seeing so many men leaving the men's room talking on their cell phones with their fly open now.

I have been a dental hygienist for ten years and I can't believe how many clueless males come into our office unzipped! It's really amazing. Between me and the other three girls who are hygienists, we see hundreds of clients every month and half of them are males. Of those male clients, at least once a month, one of us inevitably will get what we laughingly refer to as a "Code Z" (for zipper) and he can be any age from 17 to 77! Hey, I enjoy a good floating bulge as well as the next girl so I never will tell a guy he's flying low. As a good Catholic girl who was brought up to avert my eyes away and pretend it didn't happen, now I just sit back and enjoy the view. This is a funny story of the best open fly I ever saw! Once, a client came in for a teeth cleaning with his fly wide open. Long story short: no-one told him, including myself, and he walked around in a very compromised position the entire visit.

Here’s the long story.

He was about fifty, tall, fit, pleasant looking and seemed somewhat familiar. I'm sure I've cleaned his teeth before but he was one of those guys, you know the type, with the same wife, job and house for the past 25 years. When I walked into the waiting room to call him in, I noticed immediately his zipper was down. The girl sitting across from him had clearly noticed too because her gawking eyes were dead-set on his crotch. And no wonder— the pure catastrophe that was this guy's open zipper was almost mesmerizing. There was literally no cover flap inside his pants which was now folded back as it went from dark grey pants fabric, to gleaming metal zipper teeth, straight to contrasting sheer nylon white briefs. He, of course, was oblivious.

I couldn’t bear to tell him in front of the receptionist, an older woman, and that pretty young girl who had all surely noticed. So, with a warm greeting, I led him out of view, down the hall, and into my room. When he sat down in the chair his zipper spread apart even more— the shear surface area being revealed was extraordinary. At this point I was gawking too so I excused myself to ‘find ‘something I needed’ hoping that in my absence he would notice and adjust himself. He didn’t. I came back to the same scene and couldn’t bear to say the words probably due to my Catholic school girl upbringing, So I resolved myself to lean his chair back, thus preventing him from being able to notice for the rest of his forty-minute teeth cleaning. At that point, my only option was to enjoy the view. I can assure you— he was well-endowed as I could plainly make out the exact position of his 'thing' through his sheer briefs. Ahh...cheap thrills.

It didn’t take long for me to become comfortable with the sight. During idle chit-chat I would dare to stare directly into it for long stretches— examining the frayed edges of his fly and the stiff curvature of his metal zipper. I began to admire how the gaping pooch of his opening accentuated his bulge. I’ll say it: the sight was titillating. But more because the state of his gaping fly was ultimately my decision. I could have alerted him at any point: in the waiting room, as he sat down, or even in that very moment. Hell, I could have zipped the damn thing up myself if I was feeling frisky enough. But, instead, I made the decision not to do anything. To put him in a position where he couldn’t even check his zipper if he thought to. To interact with him for the better part of an hour and drink in the gaping maw that was his open fly. To laugh at it and to gawk at it. And to never say a word. I loved the fact that this man was exposed, vulnerable and totally unaware. It was quite an empowering feeling.

For a split second I felt kind of bad for him and thought what if this were my husband or grown son or even my own father sitting here inadvertently exposed to the world? Would it really bother me if other females in a dental office gawked at them like this? Nah! What the hell. Men deserve to be knocked down a few pegs like this once in awhile! If they were that careless and forgetful about zipping then they probably deserve to be humiliated like this. Girls just want to have fun. It's the price they should pay and flying low is just part of the embarrassing game of life so I quickly moved on.

One of my coworkers walked by as I was scraping some plaque and tapped my shoulder to get my attention. She got my "Code Z" message, beamed at me with a mischievous smile and pointed at his gaping zipper. I just stared at her intently with a coy look to let her know that I was fully aware. My poor client was none the wiser, however, because all this went on out of his view. She animated her eyes, drinking in the image of his exposed pouch poking out of his fly. After that, she dropped by frequently with a couple of other coworkers to gawk awkwardly and whisper relevant one-liners.

On her most dastardly encounter, she brought our receptionist (who was already stifling laughter), enthusiastically whipped out her phone, and declared that it was a great idea to “take a picture for the office scrapbook”. This crossed the line, in my opinion, but in the moment we were all taken with the humor of it. He ignorantly agreed, dumbfounded but otherwise indifferent, and I reluctantly (but hilariously) posed for a picture with this poor guy's wide open fly. My coworker had the widest, most knowing grin on her face. Of course, they wanted to have their own pictures too so multiple snapshots ensued. I felt kind of bad about allowing it to happen. (but I still love whipping those pictures out at parties!)

When the dentist finally came in for her customary check-up I didn't know what to expect. Had anyone already informed her? Was she going to tell him? Was she going to get mad at me for not telling him? I had no idea. She walked in, immediately assessed the situation, exchanged a sideways glance with me and started working on him. She then lowered his head on the chair some more which only elevated his exposed pouch as he was just lying there. She was very professional and business-like as she commanded him to open wide more than once. I think she did this more for me as I tried not to laugh out loud. Imagine this scene, seeing a grown man wearing a bib, sitting on an inversion chair with his ankles 45 degrees higher than his head, and he is totally oblivious that his fly is wide open. Add to that his pouch is hanging out of his zipper and gravity has readjusted his package! And he's wearing see-thru underwear! It was quite a sight. Almost pornographic. She finished her exam and put the chair back to its original setting and left to go into the next exam room where shortly later laughter broke out.

The worst was yet to come (for him), however.

Now after lying down for a while I know men can sometimes get erections. Even guys in their fifties. I’ve been a dental hygienist long enough to know that its involuntary and nothing to get offended at. Unfortunately, for this guy, many inopportune things were occurring simultaneously. I saw his underwear fabric begin to poke up well beyond his zipper teeth. And pretty soon the opening on his briefs began to strain and part as well. I had to compose myself mid-floss because I couldn’t take my eyes off his rising crotch. Thankfully his erection didn’t poke out, (although it certainly threatened to!) From the side, however, there was a clear view of his standing, circumcised cock, his sheer briefs fly tightly wrapped over it and on the verge of falling off his tip.

I took the liberty of adjusting my stool so I could get an unblemished view. His erection kept up for a couple of minutes which gave me ample opportunity to observe. It was almost pornographic. When my mischievous coworker strolled back into view, I beckoned her over to ‘inspect’ a piece of equipment I had in my hand. She approached, smiling keenly at the firm tower of sheer white briefs erupting from his dark gray pants. I held my tool over to direct her gaze to what I was seeing. Upon closer inspection of ‘my equipment’, she slapped her hand over her mouth to hide her excited shock. That poor guy just stared at the ceiling the whole time thinking nothing was amiss. She suggested I take a picture of the ‘tool’ so we could look at it later. I was mortified— that definitely was not what I intended— but I was also a little turned on knowing I could get away with it. So I opened my phone and framed his erect penis on my screen. A loud camera shutter sound filled the room when I snapped my very explicit picture and poor Mr. Exposed just lay there like it was the most casual thing in the world. After multiple double-takes, my coworker walked off and left me to my enviable view.

When his erection began to subside, everything seemed to be going back to its proper place. That is, until he adjusted ever so slightly in his seat, making his flaccid cock spill out a little from his underwear's loose fly opening. The cat was finally out of the bag or his mouse was out of the house and on glorious display under fluorescent light. It was at this point that I realized his chair faced a wall-sized window which looked directly out to a parking lot of a busy shopping center. He remained hopelessly clueless, as always, and I was suddenly paranoid about passerby’s glancing through the window and getting flashed by my client.

I finished up quickly and raised his chair to hurry the exit process. His penis tip spilled limply out of his pants fly when he stood up, hanging a little over the gaping zipper teeth. I now had to walk with this man to the receptionist down a long hallway. We passed by my coworker, who had been lingering around his room for most of his visit, and she tried her best not to gawk incredulously. The receptionist had similar troubles. Over the counter, I could see into the waiting room. I’ve never felt more guilty than in that moment when I saw the faces of the unfortunate strangers about to bare witness to this guy's terrible wardrobe malfunction. A couple of middle-aged women and that poor girl who had been waiting from the beginning sat innocently in their seats, unsuspecting. I knew things could go terribly wrong for him here and it would be all my fault. Still, the words were caught in my throat. If I told him now he would instantly realize I had neglected to say something for his entire visit. Not to mention he would either be cripplingly embarrassed or offended. Probably both. So I just gave him an awkward goodbye and watched his hand take hold of the waiting room door handle. Inside my head I was screaming.

Time froze for me when he opened the door. Everyone in the room instinctively looked up. I stood back, hidden behind the counter with the receptionist, feeling mortified. I talked with the receptionist about it afterwards and know she felt the same way. Of course, it was worse for Mr. Oblivious (at least he got to be oblivious.) All those people had to look upon his dangling member and gaping fly wondering how he could have possibly undergone a dental check-up looking like that. So, having liberally exposed his underwear to six or seven people, having partially exposed his erection to me and my feisty coworker, and having exposed his flaccid penis tip to a small crowd, he walked out into the sunny parking lot without realizing a thing. Do I regret it? Yes. If I could do it over again would I tell him? No. I like to think that in those situations I’ll do the decent thing and find the courage and tact to say something. But in reality, I, and especially my coworkers, are exactly the kind of people who you need to remember to zip your pants up for. Because if you encounter me with your fly gaping open, your embarrassment can only mount exponentially!
Poster: Kris





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